Fit in the City - Leigh Ann Root
Hate Isn't Great
I was surprised the other day when I was reading a book to my son and I came across the the word "hate". I refused to use it and replaced it with "didn't like". Hate is a word I would like to take out of our vocabulary completely. Is there anything good that comes from hating? I think it's a big waste of perfectly good usable energy. Energy that could be used in a much more productive manner. This is energy and time we can never get back.
There are things I strongly dislike. For instance, the other day, I was running. Truth be told, I really don't like it that much! In fact most times I'm doing it, I can't wait for it to be over. However there's a trade off, it's time efficient and effective. I also get a sense of accomplishment for doing something that's difficult for me. Even though I dislike the activity of running, I love that "after-a-workout-feeling" and I love knowing my workout "job" is done for the day. I also love the fact that running has great health benefits, it's a great way to condition and keep the body in shape. So in other words, the good outweighs the bad. I try to balance my workouts that are easier for me with these more difficult ones. The fitness experts say we reap more from doing those workouts that are a bigger challenge for us, the ones we're not naturally good at. These are the workouts that require us to work harder. Getting through the things we dislike gives us a bigger sense of satisfaction, doesn't it?
When is it that we learn to hate? The definition of hate is extreme hostility or dislike. Extreme? Sounds like a big waste of energy. Some synonyms for hostility are belligerence, combativeness, aggressiveness and contentiousness. Not exactly words we'd like used to describe ourselves, are they. Let's stop the hating, it's so unattractive. Growing up in my family, we we're not allowed to say, "I hate you". This was held in the same regard as swearing. This is a rule I will continue as raise my own family.
Recently I let go of a grudge that I had been holding for over sixteen years, someone I thought I hated. Yes, sixteen years! Silly, huh. As you grow older you realize how insignificant some things are and how powerful and negative hating can be. When the opportunity came for me to forgive and forget, I took it. It felt great, liberating and right. Why did I hold onto that grudge for so long? I was, certainly, no better off for having done it. It was doing absolutely nothing to the object of my dislike. Most of the time, this is true. We only hurt ourselves by such behavior. It will suck the energy out of you, if you let it. I believe it's true that when we feel hate toward someone, it's a bigger reflection of us, not them. It says so much more about the hater than the hated. I will strive to relay this to my son the best I can, by example and by explanation.
Please, learn from my most recent experience and let go of those negative feelings and grudges you're holding onto. Rise above and live a more enjoyable life. Make those objects of your negative thoughts indifferent in your life. In other words, have no interest in it. I dare you to replace hate with indifference in your own life. Make hate a state of your past!
